Jasmine Hart

I'd add punctuation and capital letters. I'd say "days when hope had wings", as I think it flows better.The last stanza was jerky.I'd scrap it and rewrite it altogether.You had ...

The others have made good points. I'd change "lay" to "lie", as it sounds more natural. I'd change "My eyes get heavy", as it is a bit cliche. I'd scrap ...

I agree that this was out of character, but, if I ignore that, I really love this. It was beautifully written, and your imagery was amazing, especially "sunlit gold". I ...

I really enjoyed this.Your imagery was good, and you expressed yourself very well.I'd get rid of the comma after "nothing", and change "so" to "as".I'd get rid of the fullstop ...

Ok. First off, I wouldn't capitalise the "F" in "Faith", as it hasn't been personified. "Nites" should be "nights", and I'd change "dark" to "darkness".Also capitalise your last "i". You ...

Ok, the first thing that struck me about this is that there is no punctuation.I'd punctuate like this: "The darkness of war follows us (omit "it", you don't need it) ...

I agree with Fand about the punctuation. You don't need an apostrophe in "its" as 'it's" means "it is".Honestly, this didn't feel all that fresh to me. Maybe try coming ...

It's nice, and you've definetely mastered the acrostic. I don't love it, but that seems to be more the fault of the format than anything else. In parts, I felt ...

This was really great. I loved your theme, and you expressed yourself beautifully.The ending was really great. I'm not too sure about the last three lines of the first stanza, ...

I love it, especially "sand-tangled hair", the whole second stanza, and "chopstick-thin wrists". My only slight problem is the last line, as it seems unfinished. What did you have no ...

I love it. As always, your writing is beautiful and fresh. I really can't find fault with this. If I was nitpicking, I'd say "rock back and forth" isn't overly ...

I really enjoyed this. I just think there's something very pure about it, and I liked how the story developed. It was really vivid. I'm not sure about the third ...

It's really very good, but I think that some of your rhythm is a bit off in places. I'd try saying it aloud so you can see this for yourself, ...

The imagery in this is really vivid and beautiful.Your enjambment is perfect, and your alliteration is great.I love "printless the last stanza,I think the fourth line jars a little. It ...

What's already been said about this is good. The only new thing that I have to say is that I didn't like: "What's so fun about this game?" It just ...